So I have had a bunch of things that I have wanted to write about in the last week, but every day has been getting away from me! Funny how I seem to have less time now that I can't do anything...

Anyway, one of my favorite blogs challenged us to blog about five things, that we love and want more of, and five that we could use less of.  I am going to get the bad out of the way.  I am making them smaller to give them less importance...

I could definitely use less thirty to fourty degree days.  Especially the ones with snow involved. I am SO ready for warmer days spent in the backyard.

I am done with all the whining. I could use some more of the kind that doesn't involve the letter H, but I have 10 more weeks before my sangria and I meet again! The kind that wears you down and causes you to give into things that you don't want to.  It started as begging, and has turned to flat out whining.  At first I thought his sweet little face, pleading "Please, please, PLEEEAASSSEE" was cute, now it has just gotten old. I admit, I shouldn't have laughed the first time...

I could use less sitting and more action.  I mentioned breaking out a Prenatal Yoga DVD that I had yesterday and got shot down.  I feel like I am packing on the pounds, and there is nothing I can do about it.  I can't wait until the doctor gives me the all clear to have this kid, I will be walking all over town! Hopefully I can still walk at that point...

Laundry. 'nuff said.

Worry. I could do without some of this worry that I carry around. I worry so much about this baby.  I constantly wonder if he is moving enough, is he facing the right way, will I make it to term (6 more weeks,) will we agree on a name, will I be able to breastfeed, will his brother hate me for bringing him home, we will ever get his room done? I could go on...

Now for the good stuff.  My can't do withouts, what I want more, more, more of! Obviously, I want more 70 degree days. I would LOVE some 80 degree days.  When we had a great warm week, I bought a pair of capris.  They are still in the closet, yet to be worn.  Maybe I will turn the heat up and walk around the house in them!  Warm days seem to give me energy and the desire to do more. Even though I am not suppose to.  Doing more at this point would mean propping my feet up in the backyard.  At least it would be fresh air though. I love opening the windows in the spring, and letting out the staleness of winter.  It is cleansing.

Manicures. Of course pedicures, too. I got my first pedicure of the season last week.  I haven't gotten a manicure before, and it was wonderful. My fingernails look great.  I got a bright turquoise on my toes, in honor of Spring. I played it safe with my fingers though, and now wish I had a bright pink. I will have to get another one when this one is done.

Swim lessons.  Preston is taking swim lessons again this year. The difference this year is, he is LOVING them. He doesn't want to leave.  He has one this afternoon. I love watching from the sidelines at how much he enjoys doing what he is asked.  He really enjoys his teacher, and thinks it's funny that he knows two Brittany's.  I will have to charge the camera and take some pictures today. I tried last week and realized the battery was dead.

Late night/early morning cuddles. Early this morning (just before 5am) Preston came over to tell me he was wet. So we went and changed his pull-up.  Thank God I held out one more night, I almost suggested we try underwear last night.  He has woken up dry for a week straight. It is rare that he wets a pull-up anymore. Anyway- there is something magical about cuddling with this little boy in the middle of the night. He squeezes right up to you, and puts both hands together like praying, and puts them between the pillow and his cheek, and he looks like an angel.  It takes my breath away, and brings tears to my eyes.  I could lay there and look at him for hours hoping to never forget those moments. There are nights that I am awake and can't sleep, and I want to go lay with him, but I am  too afraid that it would wake him, and then I would be stuck when I am ready to go back to sleep!

Yes, I woke him to take these pictures...

Road trips. I am feeling stir crazy.  I don't know if it is because I have been on lock down, or because we had some warm days that are now just a memory, or if it is from my childhood of moving so often. I like to think that because I moved so often as a child it has given me a desire to go and explore.  Find new adventures, see what there is to see, do what there is to do. I almost booked a room for Saturday night in Charlottesville, just to do something different.  I then realized I had Sunday school the next day, and it would be cold, and so I decided to stay put. Instead, we had a good friend over that we haven't seen in a while, and he entertained us with new conversation. It was good.

So those are my fives. I have finally hit the 30 week point. For some reason I thought I would never get here, it always seemed so far away.  I feel like I am in the the home stretch now. My doctors will give me permission to have this child in 6 weeks!  I am sure that now that we have had our scare this baby has settled in and will stay put for 12 weeks.  I am counting down the next six weeks though. It can't pass soon enough. Mainly because that will remove 90% of my worry.  I will know that this baby won't have a long road ahead of him when he comes.  That he will be big enough to hold his own. So, I am dilegently working on his room, as much as I can.  What I am not able to do, Grandma has picked up the slack.  Thank goodness she has helped as much as she has.  Otherwise we might still have all the furniture in the middle of the room waiting for paint! All his clothes are clean and hung thanks to her, too! Now if we could just get some warm weather so that we can get the yard ready before this baby takes over...

Limbo

So I have neglected this. Mainly because I just want to move on. However, I am not allowed, I am stuck in this state of limbo. I want to get on with life, and spring, and everything else that comes with a three year old.  I am stuck because my doctors don't want me having this baby at 28, or now 29 weeks. I am going to tell this one last time, and hopefully it will help me move on...

Last week I started having some cramping in my stomach, and it got the point late Thursday/early Friday that I started writing down times, and they were happening every five to ten minutes.  I guzzled as much water as i could find, and things settled down. I felt run down, but promised myself to take it easy that day. I even took a nap.  After I woke up and started getting ready for the evening (I don't remember what I did) I started cramping consistently every five minutes.  They weren't painful in the slightest, just annoying. I was thinking Braxton Hicks. I called my doctor and they wanted to see me, and to be there in an hour, HA, good one! So I rushed out the door, and of course got stuck in an accident before even reaching Harrisonburg. I called the doctors office, informed them that I would not be making it, and they told me to go to labor and delivery at the hospital...

I DID NOT want to go to the hospital. I wanted to turn around and go home.  So I did the next best thing, I called a good level headed, non-panicky friend.  I had Brandon and Preston with me, so we drove to her house, if for no other reason than for her to tell me it was fine, and we could hang out for a little. Well, she played the "it wouldn't hurt to be checked" card, and Preston can stay here and play. Okay, fine, I decided to go, still feeling a little ridiculous because whatever was happen didn't hurt in the slightest, and wasn't even lasting a full minute each time.  So we get to the hospital, fill a cup, put on their silly gown, and settled in. The nurse confirmed contractions, had the doctor do the same, and then proceeded to give me a little cocktail that put me to sleep.  I wish it had tasted better... After a cat nap of who knows how long, they woke me in a panic, and wanted to check me. Being groggy, I was slightly annoyed.  I remember being annoyed at Brandon too because while napping he kept pacing around the bed.  I later found out it was because he was watching my labor speed up.  The doctor checked me, and here is where I sobered up.  I had started dialating. She immediately starts handing out instructions to ship me off to UVA where they are more prepared to handle a 27 week and 5 day baby. I woke up very quickly and starting telling everyone I saw, just do whatever you need to, make this stop.  I am NOT having this baby tonight.

They sent Brandon on his merry way to UVA, and started pumping me with whatever they could find.  They stuck me in an ambulance and off we went.  I was panicked, I don't think I said five words the whole way.  All I could think was that I didn't even give Preston a hug and kiss before we left Teresa's.  I knew he was fine, and sound asleep, but I felt terrible, his world was about to be rocked if I had this baby.  They got me in a room, and hooked me up to a bazillion more monitors, and told me to relax.  Right, on it. At some point, I fell asleep, and everything stopped. I woke up around four Saturday morning, and watched the monitor, and nothing was happening, all had stopped.  I was relieved.

Through that night, I had been told things like, get comfortable, you may be here until you have this baby, it might be tonight, it might be 80 days.  They told me that they had a great NICU, and that my baby would be fine if born right then.  They said he was breach and if things didn't settle down I was going to have a C-section. Thank God for all the drugs in my system helping to numb me.  Thinking about all of that now scares me.

I thought I was done, and so I would get to go home, well to make an already LONG story short, they locked me up until Monday. Three days.  This is the longest I have ever been away from Preston. He came to visit every day, but he didn't understand me in a hospital bed, and wanted little to do with me. I missed him like one would miss their right leg. I so wanted him to climb up in the bed and sit and cuddle with me. I held out hope for when I came home.  Even then he was standoffish and almost nervous around me, it sucked, bad. I was on lock down, and couldn't do a lot with his busy self anyway.

Brandon, thankfully, was able to stay with us all week last week, and was a huge help.  It has been the biggest adjustment for him.  Duties have shifted, and it has been hard to let go.  Things are slipping, but slip away, I don't want this baby here yet. He has more growing (and some flipping) to do. Today is our first day back to normal.  Meaning, Brandon is at work, and Preston and I are going to figure it out. Thankfully it is going to be a gorgeous day, and we have new sand in the sandbox. I am going to paint my toenails while he builds castles.  Cross your fingers that I can reach them okay.

I will remain in limbo for now, I will be given the all clear in 7 weeks.  I suspect in that time this baby will settle in, and decide to stay until I need to be induced. Which would be fine, but I hate the constant worry I carry that I might over do it, and land myself back in that nightmare. I so want to move on, and get back to normal. I want to be able to walk to the park, and run and play in the warm weather, and chase after Preston on his bike.  I guess I will have to settle for watching him from my lounge chair in the back. I am going to remind myself that it could be worse. I could be pumping and driving over to Charlottesville daily to see a premature little boy. This is better.

What's in a Name?

We have finally begun work on the nursery.  Preston prefers to take all the credit.  He did a great job don't you think?!

I am hoping/praying/crossing my fingers that the chair rail goes up today, and that maybe, just maybe the person cutting out circles for me calls and tells me they are ready!  I am stressing about this room because I know what weekends I have available between now and June 5th and I know there is one.  Maybe two.  Next week we are off to the Homestead for Brandon's sales conference, and then there is April, that will be consumed with the consignment sale.  Once it is over, I will have two weeks before Operation Delivery begins.  I am determined to have this baby early, even if only by one day like his older brother. 

There is also the whole, find a name for this child that is the perfect name, that I will be happy with for the rest of his life, deal.  I would like to put his name on the wall in wooden letters, but I need one first.  Brandon and I are not on the same page when it comes to names.  We prefer completely different styles. I am working on acceptance, and trying to be open to his ideas. I admit this is a fault of mine.  I am pretty good about getting stuck on ideas, and not budging.  I blame my mom for this.  I am her daughter.

I am sure that we will figure it out, and find a perfect name, but in the meantime, I am going to continue to lay awake at night.  Mainly because I am reaching the point of no return- meaning I am just plain uncomfortable, no matter what.  I feel like this point came a lot later with Preston though.  I thought I didn't reach misery until the last month with him, does anyone remember?  I still have 12.5 weeks (yes, I have started counting!) It will be less than that though.  I WILL have this baby early, even if only by a day.  I have convinced myself that if I put that out there enough, it will happen! So keep your fingers crossed for me!

Closed Door Policy!

So, yesterday morning, I had a good laugh while in the rush to get out the door to church.  Typically, I am not allowed a private moment in the bathroom.  I don't know why this is.  I can go in any room in the house, and for the most part, no one cares.  The SECOND I walk in the bathroom, I hear little footprints stampeding towards the door.  It has gotten to the point that I rarely even bother with closing it behind me anymore.  There have been several occasions where we have had company, and I have been about to sit down, and realized I didn't close the door!  Opps- I will apologize if this ever does happen while you are here! 

Anyway, back to yesterday.  Normally while getting ready the door is wide open the entire time, shower and all.  I am not a fan of it, just the way things go around here.  I shower, get dressed, maybe slap on some make-up (I need to get better about that) and then dry my hair.  Within seconds of the hair dryer turning on, I hear the stampede, and the door slams shut.

For some reason yesterday it cracked me up!  Yesterday, just before slamming the door, he yells at me, "You're so loud!"  I hope everyone finds this as funny as me!  This from the pot that runs through the house screaming, and is always at a 10 instead of a nice inside 2.  It caused me to crack up!  I don't want to forget the crazy things he does, but I may start turning on the hair dryer every time I go in the bathroom....

Grateful!

Today I am grateful.  The local radio station is doing a St. Jude Radiothon to raise money for a such a great organization.  Throughout the day they play inspirational songs, that have people talking about how they have benefited from St. Jude.  Some of the songs can be downright heartbreaking. 

It always causes me to pull my family a little closer, hug a little tighter.  I am so grateful that we have our health and we are well.  There are so many daily things that cause me to forget how lucky we are to have that.  It is such a basic gift that God has given us, and I don't thank him enough for it.  There are so many families suffering from cancer and its horrible affects, we aren't one of them, and I am so thankful.  My heart goes out to those who are. 

I get so wrapped up in everything else day to day that I hardly notice the bigger picture, and today driving home from preschool I was reminded.  Tears streaming down my face, I vowed to be more patient, to soak in the time I do have with my children.  I can so quickly get caught up in the frustrations of everyday life, and so I am going to start working on my patience, and not be so quick to give into that frustration.  I am lucky to have the opportunity to be frustrated.  So many parents are robbed of that too soon. 

Preston can be mind numbly slow.  Brandon and I always joke around that he has a double dose of "assing around."  He gets if from his Grandaddy, and Grammy.  They both have all the time in the world, especially when it comes to getting out the door.  He has all the time in the world for EVERYTHING.  It can make us crazy, but I am going to work on not letting my frustration of that escalate into yelling.  I will try and speed him along, but I will also know, that it is part of his personality.  His curiosity.  He is learning.  Right?

Today though, I will spend "one more minute" after stories in bed with Preston.  I will cuddle him a little longer.  I will (probably) eat a little healthier for the little brother.  I will make a hearty dinner for Brandon after his long day of taking pictures.  I will probably even make something with meat it in. Today (and hopefully many more) I will soak it all in, and work on being thankful and grateful for what we are blessed with. 

Wordless Wednesday

 I can't think of anything to say today, and since I haven't put any pictures up recently, I thought it was time to do a picture post...

The V-Day party at Preschool

Our Secret- that quickly became public knowledge!

Yes, Brandon is riding the horse!



Just out of this picture, Brandon is taking a ride!



Despite the face, he does love his chore chart!  He has already earned a trip to the zoo, but we are still waiting on a warm day!