Family

Whew.


It has been a week. Long, hot, exhausting. We didn't stop for a minute. I feel summer slipping away, and I am determined to squeeze every last bit of fun before my little boy leaves and becomes big. Just four short weeks and he will be a kindergartener.



I am mixed about it. I look forward to time with the baby, but I worry the quiet will be overwhelming. He is such a big part of this home.



I have big plans to keep myself busy, like ridding the gold door knobs, decluttering everywhere. Maybe painting something.



Last week though, we packed up and headed North. My Grandma needed to meet Grant. It was way overdue.



As I sat in her room one night I was overcome with tears. There, hangs a picture of her and my grandpa. To look at her today and look at that picture made me feel as if we were in some parallel universe. The people in that picture were worlds away.



Life happens so fast that sometimes it takes my breath away. It is such a blessing to be surrounded with people that love us and our kids. Grandma laughed at the boys so much for things that we see everyday. It caused me to pause and remind myself to soak it in. That in a moment this will seem a world away.



The boys were able to meet cousins they had never met, revisit old an old one. And see some of my family. It was good to extend their family, even if it was just by a few. I want them to know that they are not alone in this world, and that family will always be there. Even if they are a world away.

Five years

Five years. They pass in a moment. A baby turns into a boy in an instant. It passes so unbelievably quick. It hurts my heart to think that five years of my precious time with him has passed.

It all started while Brandon and I sat at a friend's wedding snuggling an itty bitty, and we were bitten by the baby fever bug. The doctor's told us to not get our hopes up in the first months, and to be patient. We were on cloud nine when Halloween came with a "Pregnant" on the end of a stick. I was miserably sick, and Brandon cooked Thanksgiving dinner at our house. The doctor's guessed girl at 12 weeks, and Preston straightened us out at 20 weeks.

At my 38 week appointment, my entire body was swollen, and I begged the doctor for mercy. I had been drinking Castor oil and bouncing on an exercise ball for a week. I couldn't do it any more. I think the doctor knew I was at my breaking point! He came back with a date to be at the hospital. July 10th. Less than a week.

The day came and the 45 minute drive to the hospital was very quiet. We were both lost in nervous thought. We got to there at 8am and was passed the glorious gown, and told to strip down. I was given an IV laced with pitocin. My beloved Dr. Ferguson came, broke my water and got things moving. I was thinking I was doing really well, and asked to be checked. 2-3 centimeters is not what I wanted to hear, I was hoping for a good 6-7. Things were getting intense and they wanted me to get to at least a 4 before I could have the relief of an epidural. Gah. I went inside myself and wanted complete quiet. I didn't want to be touched, and I definitely didn't want anyone laughing it up. I vividly remember biting my sister's head off because she was laughing. Sorry, you'll get it one day.

I finally reached four centimeters by noon and met the beloved anesthesiologist at 1pm. I was able to relax, and fell asleep. After 90 minutes of sleep, I woke up with the strongest sensation that I needed to push. I told my first nurse that I thought that was the case, and she chalked it up to Preston getting into position. I told the second nurse, and she kindly obliged and checked me. I was fully dilated! It was time!

The nurses had me practice pushing, and they were nervous that because I was completely numb. I was so happy to prove that I was a good pusher. I remember Brandon being threatened with the song Macho Man if he passed out. He had to hold up a leg that I couldn't support. I pushed for an hour, and at 4:56pm, my life changed forever.

He was perfect and looked up at me, and as long at I talked to him he stopped crying. He just starred at me. I never wanted to let him go, and was sure the world had just shifted. He was perfect, and amazing. He still is. He forever changed me and he will always be the one that gave me the best gift; motherhood.