Ramblings of the sick

This week Grant has been sick. If you know Grant, you know that this has caused major disruptions. He is the most high maintenance sick child since the beginning of sickness. He doesn't mess around. He is pure misery and yells about his NOSE at least every 20 minutes. I made a game of it and started pretending to take off his nose. Then I heard more about his NOSE! At night he is awake at least once an hour. For the most part he just needs you to lay him back down and cover him back up. He does like to snuggle at least twice a night though for no less than 20 minutes. So you do the math on the amount of sleep and patience there is in this house right now. He finally broke me on Thursday and I took him to the doctor. Go figure, he has another ear infection. He can't just get a cold like regular people, has to get the ear infection, too!

In the mist of our Zombie fest week, we had all our normal activities to keep up with. Preston has been taking Karate for about a month now. He really seems to enjoy it, and the instructors are working on bringing him out of his shell. It will be a process, but he loves thinking he is a ninja.

Thankfully, there were no Wednesday night church activities, so we had a minute to dye eggs for Easter. Grant crashed by 7, so he didn't get to help. Preston had a great time with the shaving cream and food coloring.

He even decided to give himself a mustache with the shaving cream. Thankfully, though, his lip is no longer green.

Yesterday was absolute craziness and if Brandon's parents hadn't been around to help, I am sure that each of us would have had a meltdown by the end of the day. It was my Thursday to work, so I jumped up at 6am, and headed out, so that I could be done early, and get back to get Grant back to the doctor. Linda saved me and picked Preston up from school. By the time Grant and I got home, the bus was leaving the neighborhood. They were going to take Preston to Karate, and then we would meet them for Dairy Queen. I was so glad to have a minute to sit down and not be running somewhere. Preston decided he wanted to play with Grandma, so they skipped Karate and just went to dinner.

By the time they got home, I was able to have Grant bathed and ready for bed. After Bob and Linda left Preston remembered that his school was having a special night based on a book the whole school had ready. Of course, this occurs to him as I am getting ready to walk Grant into bed. Against my better judgment, we went and Preston was happy to be there. He did a couple crafts and we called it a night. Grant even got to sit with a giant hamster.

Brandon and I both have colds now, but Grant is sleeping more, so we are sleeping more, and hopefully we can all recover!

Spring didn't get the memo.

Apparently someone forgot to let the weatherman know that Spring is here. This seems to be becoming a weekly tradition in our area. Last Monday, we were also stuck at home with several inches of snow. Last week, though, it stopped before we woke. It is still snowing right now, straight through naptime. Blah.

The kids wanted to go out bright and early. Brandon hadn't even gotten out of the shower before we were layering up!

Begging to go out

It was over 6 inches by this morning, so Grant got frustrated the minute he went off the porch and immediately planted his face in the snow. He decided his best bet would be to grab some golf clubs to drag through the yard. He had on mittens, so he had nothing to grasp them with and this just frustrated him more.

Preston started making snowballs, and suddenly had the biggest bottom for a snowman. He made the entire man himself. I helped with the stacking, but he made the parts and rolled them right up to the snowman. He has become so independent it amazes me sometimes.

Preston and Grant were both very pleased with his snowman and have made plans to make him a buddy when Dad gets home. Lucky Dad!

Hopefully, this is the last of the snow until Christmas and we can move onto summer.

One more face plant.

I'm Back!!

Let's just say the longest hiatus was due to the fact that I had a computer that was older than Preston and now I have one that is brand spanking new and I can actually upload pictures, videos, whatever to it! It is so fast, it keeps up with my typing and everything!

These kids are growing at an incredible rate and I can hardly keep up. I feel like from the time Preston gets off the bus to dinner time is pure chaos. It is similar to running a marathon around here in that you don't stop moving.

Preston eats very little of his lunch at school because there are very important things to do during lunch. Telling the most disgusting joke is definitely more important than eating any kind of food, even if it is the only time you will have food in front of you from 10am-3:30pm. So the minute he walks through the door he is begging for one thing after another to eat. I cut him off an hour before dinner in the hopes that maybe we will get homework done and dinner made.

Grant, meanwhile, is in the middle of taking every possible non-toy item in the kitchen and placing it randomly throughout the house. Helpful, that one! He is also quick to run and hide and fill his pants. He is so interested in using the potty, but he is only one, and I am not interested in potty training for a year or more. Or at Disney World.

Once we eat dinner though, it is like we settle in for the night and everyone seems to come together for good. Brandon is normally home and the kids treat him like a jungle gym. And I get to breathe.

This will all be over though in a few short months. School takes up such a large chunk of the day that I feel like all the time I used to have with Preston now has to be crammed into the four hours we see each other in the evening. I need to get out of the mindset that school is a hassle and inconvienence, but really it takes my kid away for seven and a half hours every day, plus the 20 minutes of homework we have. Some days the space it good, but I feel like lately, it wears all of us out and we are all irritable because we aren't as used to each other's differences.

I can't wait until summer. No more alarm clocks, we can sit around in our pajamas until 10, and then go play in the back yard or walk to the park. No agendas, no "hurry up, brush your teeth," (although, brushing teeth is always good.) We can enjoy each other and the time we have instead of rushing through each day.

74 more days. Count them for me. I will be making supper or something.

Grant, an almost 18 monther.

I have been terribly absent. School and errands, and training for a half marathon has kept me a little busy.



Grant is all kinds of busy and a little crazy. He is becoming so much his own person with his own opinions. The kid very much wants to turn into his brother, but at the same time, wants to find his own place. He adores Preston and that only goes so far with the older brother. Preston will tolerate a younger playmate for only so long. Grant thinks he knows how to play big kid games, and he definitely just mainly acts like Godzilla. It can be frustrating for a big brother.



He is starting to figure out the whole language thing, too. His word of choice is "BOP." It means up, go, out, shoes, dog, etc. He also uses "MOM," a lot. Everyone is mom, and more is mom. I have finally got him nodding instead of just shaking, but you have to nod first, and then he has a full range of motion nod. To say yes, he just opens and closes his mouth with absolutely no sound. All the other words, noises that he makes are at a ten. Never a two. He also gets that from Preston. I have decided that we are just going to be a loud family. Sigh.



He can be very dramatic when things don't go his way. You and anyone within range is going to know that he is not pleased with whatever is happening. He is strangely tough, though, and needs little comfort or cuddles when he gets hurt. A quick kiss will do him.

This is actually him just wanting more food in his mouth, not screaming.

He is learning to play by himself, as a good bit of his days, he no longer has a boss. He isn't much on toys, but loves pulling out all the drawers in the kitchen and then randomly selecting one and pulling something out. Mind you he isn't tall enough yet to see what he is grabbing and then running with. Can be a very dangerous game. He is starting to favor the silverware and pot holder drawer most.



It is amazing how fast the second child grows compared to the first. Even though I have had more time with Grant (I was still working at this age with Preston) I feel like the time has passed faster. Funny how that happens.

Playing in the rain.

Growing.

This post has been rolling around in my head for almost two weeks. Preston left for school a day shy of three weeks ago. I thought about writing something the night before he left, but as I stood in the kitchen sobbing, I decided it would come out too emotional, and not what I wanted to say. I miss him and his craziness terribly, my throat still gets tight and forms a lump if I let myself think about it too long.



That is not where I want to go though. We all know I love him like crazy and he changed the course of my world. Now it is his turn to change the course of the world. Dramatic, I know.  As he has grown older, one of the lessons that I have really wanted him to know is generosity and kindness. We have had the typical "you are so very lucky" talks, we have purged toys to go to the local charity house, and I always make sure I have extra dollars at Christmas time to put in the little red buckets EVERY time we see one. We always explain the reasons behind each action.



I found a new blog recently that a friend reccommended. She is big on compassion, and being there for one another. She has even created a movement, and written a book. Big things are happening. I want all those things for my children. I want them to be generous and kind, not just with their things, but with themselves.



We know very little about what happens at school. We get little tidbits here and there, but mostly we know if he ate his lunch that day or not. And who he talked to at lunch. Lunch must be some kind of big deal! So I am going to tap into lunch and help him to know that even though he may have a brand new Batman lunchbox, that he needs to watch for the kid that might be hiding his old ripped or worn out lunchbox, or sits by themself because they are too shy. To reach out to that child, to befriend them. To let them know they are not alone, that they have him, and he can be a pretty great friend.



I want him to be there, really be there, for others. The way we have always been there for him. We have shown up for every little event in his life, and he has so many right behind us that show up for him, too. He knows what it means to show up for someone. He had a party over the weekend that I had a moment of selfishness and didn't want to go to this party because it was hot, we were having a cookout later, and the house needed attention. Then I thought about how that child might feel if Preston didn't show up. It might go unnoticed, or it might really leave him feeling sad that he couldn't make it. So we went, and we didn't know anyone, but the birthday boy. Preston didn't want to play the games, so I pulled him aside and explained that it may have hurt his feelings if someone didn't like his party games. Then he was all-in and dug the eyeballs out of the spaghetti like it was a job (we were at a fear factor party.)



I want him to make a difference in this world, and not by being the best boxer in the world. I want him to make a difference in everyday. People's everyday. By being there, by showing up, and reaching out. It's hard, I know how hard it is, but I am going to lead by example. I am going to start putting myself out there, and giving compassion to others. Reaching out to others, and being there for those who need me.

Family

Whew.


It has been a week. Long, hot, exhausting. We didn't stop for a minute. I feel summer slipping away, and I am determined to squeeze every last bit of fun before my little boy leaves and becomes big. Just four short weeks and he will be a kindergartener.



I am mixed about it. I look forward to time with the baby, but I worry the quiet will be overwhelming. He is such a big part of this home.



I have big plans to keep myself busy, like ridding the gold door knobs, decluttering everywhere. Maybe painting something.



Last week though, we packed up and headed North. My Grandma needed to meet Grant. It was way overdue.



As I sat in her room one night I was overcome with tears. There, hangs a picture of her and my grandpa. To look at her today and look at that picture made me feel as if we were in some parallel universe. The people in that picture were worlds away.



Life happens so fast that sometimes it takes my breath away. It is such a blessing to be surrounded with people that love us and our kids. Grandma laughed at the boys so much for things that we see everyday. It caused me to pause and remind myself to soak it in. That in a moment this will seem a world away.



The boys were able to meet cousins they had never met, revisit old an old one. And see some of my family. It was good to extend their family, even if it was just by a few. I want them to know that they are not alone in this world, and that family will always be there. Even if they are a world away.

Five years

Five years. They pass in a moment. A baby turns into a boy in an instant. It passes so unbelievably quick. It hurts my heart to think that five years of my precious time with him has passed.

It all started while Brandon and I sat at a friend's wedding snuggling an itty bitty, and we were bitten by the baby fever bug. The doctor's told us to not get our hopes up in the first months, and to be patient. We were on cloud nine when Halloween came with a "Pregnant" on the end of a stick. I was miserably sick, and Brandon cooked Thanksgiving dinner at our house. The doctor's guessed girl at 12 weeks, and Preston straightened us out at 20 weeks.

At my 38 week appointment, my entire body was swollen, and I begged the doctor for mercy. I had been drinking Castor oil and bouncing on an exercise ball for a week. I couldn't do it any more. I think the doctor knew I was at my breaking point! He came back with a date to be at the hospital. July 10th. Less than a week.

The day came and the 45 minute drive to the hospital was very quiet. We were both lost in nervous thought. We got to there at 8am and was passed the glorious gown, and told to strip down. I was given an IV laced with pitocin. My beloved Dr. Ferguson came, broke my water and got things moving. I was thinking I was doing really well, and asked to be checked. 2-3 centimeters is not what I wanted to hear, I was hoping for a good 6-7. Things were getting intense and they wanted me to get to at least a 4 before I could have the relief of an epidural. Gah. I went inside myself and wanted complete quiet. I didn't want to be touched, and I definitely didn't want anyone laughing it up. I vividly remember biting my sister's head off because she was laughing. Sorry, you'll get it one day.

I finally reached four centimeters by noon and met the beloved anesthesiologist at 1pm. I was able to relax, and fell asleep. After 90 minutes of sleep, I woke up with the strongest sensation that I needed to push. I told my first nurse that I thought that was the case, and she chalked it up to Preston getting into position. I told the second nurse, and she kindly obliged and checked me. I was fully dilated! It was time!

The nurses had me practice pushing, and they were nervous that because I was completely numb. I was so happy to prove that I was a good pusher. I remember Brandon being threatened with the song Macho Man if he passed out. He had to hold up a leg that I couldn't support. I pushed for an hour, and at 4:56pm, my life changed forever.

He was perfect and looked up at me, and as long at I talked to him he stopped crying. He just starred at me. I never wanted to let him go, and was sure the world had just shifted. He was perfect, and amazing. He still is. He forever changed me and he will always be the one that gave me the best gift; motherhood.