Our Fourth Year

My big boy has turned four.  And is already counting the days until the coveted five. For some reason this little boy of mine can't wait to be five. I wish I could say I have all the time in the world, but I know I only have 364 more days... sigh.

He mastered a lot this year-
sleeping in a big bed (finally.)
the toilet. that was huge.
writing his name (and spelling it.)
became a big brother (again, finally.)
completed a year of preschool.
learned to take a shower.
stopped eating by himself so his hands stay clean.
will go down the slip and slide by his self.
reached that 42 inches so he can finally climb the lighthouse.

He is growing and learning so fast, and it struck me over and over this weekend as we raced from ride to ride. He absolutely loved Dutch Wonderland this weekend, but that is an entirely different post. He has become so independent this last year, but this weekend, we discovered that when spinning really fast (and I do mean fast because I was screaming) on the turtle ride he wanted nothing more than me to squeeze him tight and hold onto him. Who knew those things could travel at the speed of light. I so wish that we had our ride on video so in fifteen years when he is way to cool for mom, I can remind him, and we can laugh. I hope in fifteen years he will still go to an amusement park with me and ride the scary ones!

I managed to hold it together all weekend, and not become a blubbering idiot. I felt like a terrible parent because I didn't get birthday candles and he had to blow out a random candle that was in the camper. He didn't mind though.

We went for a special breakfast at the local Friendly's after we all got cleaned up. He got chocolate chip pancakes with sprinkles and whipped cream. Hey, I go all out for a birthday, I worked hard four years ago, we will spoil away for that. He immediately picked up the little side cup of sprinkles and started drinking them. That's how he rolls, straight up, no pancake, knock 'em back. Once Brandon got them cut up, they looked like a sugary mess, and he only ate maybe 10 bites, I didn't push more.

The lovely staff did sign happy birthday and arrived with a cookie hidden under mountains of more whipped cream and sprinkles. They know how to do it up right. This is when I had to put on my brave face. I don't know why I started losing my togetherness at this point, but the tears about flowed over right there in that Friendly's. They would have if it had been me that he would had buried his face into because he was embarrassed. It was Brandon though, and so I didn't embarrass and confuse him more and held it down.

I am crying now though, I am letting it out. The little boy that made me a mommy has turned four. No other child will show me that my heart can live outside my body. I will always know that it coming, he taught me the love that a mother has for her child can be heartbreaking and overwhelming. All in an amazingly good way. I will know these feelings are coming with all my future children, they only caught me by surprise with Preston. These kids can put a lump in my throat faster than anything else out there.

We ended his day watching our show, and me telling him that he is so special to mommy and daddy because he made us just that. We were just Brandon and Brooke before him. Our lives are so much better because of him.