Sweet Kisses

I have almost reached the halfway point in this pregnancy.  It is such a huge relief to feel the little flutters and occasional kicks this babe sends out.  It has been a long emotional road to get to this point. 

Preston is excited about being a big brother, and is taking it very seriously.  He has big plans to teach this baby everything he knows, and then some.  He looks forward to feeding and holding the baby, and says that they will have slumber parties all the time.  He hasn't grasped that at first this baby isn't going to be as much fun as his buddies at preschool.  He has started kissing his baby, but is really shy about showing affection to the baby, and doesn't like even Brandon to see him do it.  It is our little secret, and I am working on him being okay with loving the baby.  It melts my heart, and I hope and pray that even though there is such a large gap in their ages, that they will adore each other, and be really close growing up. 

I hope and pray constantly that this child continue to be well and healthy, and continue that way until June (or the end of May.)  I pray that he or she is happy and healthy and thrives in life.  I want nothing but the best for my children. I want nothing more than to see them grow up into adults and have a life that they consider successful, even if I don't.  I want them to love deeply, and live fully.  I want them to get the most out of whatever their crazy lives offer up. 

I look forward to the challenges that two children will bring.  I look forward to the fun of two kids as well, especially the matching outfits, and coordinating Halloweens!  I look forward to the day when they are both old enough to send out in the back yard to play all morning, and then lazy summer afternoons splashing in the pool.  I look forward to the fighting and not wanting to share, and helping them to learn to love one another.  I hope that they have a close relationship as adults, and know that they can depend on each other long after their parents are gone. 

I can't wait to meet this little one, as worried as I am for Preston because this will change the world he knows drastically.  I hope and pray that he takes this in stride, and loves his baby.  I hope that he doesn't resent this baby forever (I know it will be inevitable at times.) I worry that he will feel like he doesn't get enough attention after the baby gets here because he has been numero uno for so long with all of his relatives.  He loves the days that he gets to spend with his granddaddy, and they are quite the pair.  I know those days will be great for him when he is feeling neglected. 

I am working really hard to enjoy this pregnancy, and not worry over every little thing that may or may not mean something is wrong.  My doctor tells me that this may be the last one (not if I have anything to do with it) and that I should soak up the joy of pregnancy.  He obviously doesn't know that I am not a fan of pregnancy, and that I miss running terribly since he found out I was pregnant again.  I look forward to the day that I will feel comfortable enough to leave the baby for an hour, and go for a run. I am counting down the weeks to June, and when this little bug will make its appearance.